Friday, March 20, 2009

MLB predictions

Today is the first day for spring, and nothing says spring more than baseball so here are my 2009 MLB predictions.

AL EAST

  1. Red Sox: The Red Sox are awesome if you don't like the Red Sox go eat a bag of dicks
  2. Rays: They killed Steve Irwin so they can go fuck themselves.
  3. Yankees: They have Gay-Rod, nuff said.
  4. Orioles: There owner is a Douchebag.
  5. Blue Jays: This is baseball not hockey
AL CENTRAL

  1. White Sox: At least they have Sox in their name.
  2. Twins: When I think of twins I think of boobs, so they're cool.
  3. Indians:Cliff Lee ain't saving your ass this year.
  4. Royals: There always fucking losing, I can relate.
  5. Tigers: Can wait to see what young pitcher they will destroy this year. Cocksuckers.
AL WEST

  1. A's: Every one on the team except Nomar has bad hygiene, this works in my book.
  2. Angels: How many times can these nut jugglers lose to the Red Sox in the playoffs.
  3. Texas: Call back when you get some pitching
  4. Seattle: There worse than a crusty vagina
NL EAST
  1. Braves: Manager was born same time the dinosaurs became extinct.
  2. Mets: Can't wait to see these losers blow it in the last week of the season
  3. Phillies: Get over yourselves, you ain't winning this shit this year.
  4. Nationals: Why aren't they called the DC Nationals?
  5. Florida: I can count their fans on one hand.
NL CENTRAL

  1. Cardinals: Poo-Holes is really all anybody needs.
  2. Cubs: Perennial losers
  3. Reds: How bout some fucking pitching?
  4. Brewers: Hey at least they have the sausage races.
  5. Pirates: Somalia pirates have a better chance at the world series.
  6. Astros: Is anything in Texas beside the women that is good?
NL WEST

  1. Dimondbacks: They suck balls, but they will will the division.
  2. Dodgers: Manny is going to bend you over.
  3. Giants: Hey the good news is that you won't blow as much as you did last year.
  4. Rockies: Fans should only go to the games for the Coors Light.
  5. Padres: There is about as good as week old throw up on your carpet.

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