Monday, November 21, 2016

Does Lucky really believe all the missed extra points today are part of an International conspiracy to boost ratings????

As I am sure you have heard, there have been 11 missed extra points today and the Sunday Night game still has 10 minutes left in it. So earlier today, TheLucky texted a few of us that Bilderberg may be behind the missed PAT's and tampered with the kicking balls in an effort to boost ratings of the NFL. At first I laughed this off as some self deprecating humor, but if you are familiar with this blog, theLucky is OBSESSED with Bilderberg! He truly believes this small, secretive group of experts is controlling the World and is engaged in massive cover-ups and all that other conspiracy nut shit. 

So I began trying to think like TheLucky.I thought about Heath Ledger channeling the Joker in preparation for the Dark Night and I became TheLucky for just long enough. I played some video games, I tried to figure out how Pokemon Go works (Yes, he is an avid Pokemon Go enthusiast). I tried finding a mouse to jerk off into a cup for testing. I watched parts of Loose Change and Farhenheit 911. I was Thelucky. This is what I came up with...

According to my deep research on Bilderberg via Wikipedia, I found that they were started our of concern for "the growth of anti-Americanism in Western Europe" and wanted to create ore understanding of American culture. So, could it be that Bilderberg has conspired to help boost the ratings of the NFL by tampering with footballs? They are trying to shove NFL down the throats of those soccer loving grubs across the pond. Could Roger Goodell be a member of Bilderberg and be so driven to raise ratings that he would commit the heinous act of tampering with footballs, which has been proven to be detrimental to the game?? 2015 was the first year that the extra point was moved back and kickers missed 71 PATs that year. (They just missed another PAT while I was typing this, so we are up to 12 today) 12 missed PATs would project to 204 misses for a season. Something is up. 

I can't do this anymore, I am breaking character. However, I hope I planted seeds in the head of TheLucky to research this further and provide his thoughts on the subject. Do I think this is anything other than a fluke? Absolutely not. If the NFL wants to boost ratings, they will stop watering down the sport with added games featuring shitty teams that force more teams to play on short rest. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE football and was psyched when they added more games, but I think Mark Cuban was right when he spoke out against the NFL television expansion infamously saying "pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. And they're getting hoggy."  

It is almost midnight and  need to get some sleep. I hope I don't dream of testing cosmetics on animals (which I think is what TheLucky does for work)

PS: did anyone just hear them interview Rob Kelley? I'm setting his Wonderlick score over/under at 7 (Vince Young's famous bad score was 16). This guy sounded like Brandon Merriweather.

1 comment:

theLucky said...

Roctardo! First off I told you the missed FG were due to super moon not the freaking Bilderberg. Bilderberg is not what it use to be. That picture of the mouse is just a normal retro orbital bleed. That is not cosmetic testing!