Thursday, April 30, 2009

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Massachusetts is now under swine flu material law...fucking great

Boston Herald---The Massachusetts Senate has unanimously passed a pandemic flu preparation bill that has languished in the Legislature before the recent swine flu outbreak.

The 36-0 vote today sends the measure to the House. Both branches have taken it up in past years, but have not been able to agree on the details.

The new Senate version would allow the public health commissioner — in a public health emergency — to close or evacuate buildings, enter private property for investigations, and quarantine individuals.

The measure also requires a registry for volunteers that would be activated in an emergency and establishes fines of up to $1,000 for not complying with local public health orders.

So what does this bill actually mean?

The bill specifically mandates the following:

(1) to require the owner or occupier of premises to permit entry into and investigation of the premises;
(2) to close, direct, and compel the evacuation of, or to decontaminate or cause to be decontaminated any building or facility, and to allow the reopening of the building or facility when the danger has ended;
(3) to decontaminate or cause to be decontaminated, or to destroy any material;
(4) to restrict or prohibit assemblages of persons;
(5) to require a health care facility to provide services or the use of its facility, or to transfer the management and supervision of the health care facility to the department or to a local public health authority;
(6) to control ingress to and egress from any stricken or threatened public area, and the movement of persons and materials within the area;
(7) to adopt and enforce measures to provide for the safe disposal of infectious waste and human remains, provided that religious, cultural, family, and individual beliefs of the deceased person shall be followed to the extent possible when disposing of human remains, whenever that may be done without endangering the public health;
(8) to procure, take immediate possession from any source, store, or distribute any anti-toxins, serums, vaccines, immunizing agents, antibiotics, and other pharmaceutical agents or medical supplies located within the commonwealth as may be necessary to respond to the emergency;
(9) to require in-state health care providers to assist in the performance of vaccination, treatment, examination, or testing of any individual as a condition of licensure, authorization, or the ability to continue to function as a health care provider in the commonwealth

And digging a little bit more deeper.

"SECTION 5. Section 5A of chapter 111, as so appearing is hereby amended by striking out the first paragraph thereof and inserting in place thereof the following two paragraphs:-

The department may purchase, produce, and distribute anti-toxins, serums, vaccines, immunizing agents, antibiotics, and other pharmaceutical or medical supplies in the interest of preparing for or controlling diseases dangerous to the public health.
Whenever the commissioner determines that the inoculation of or administration to the general public, or a subset of the general public, of any antitoxin, serum, vaccine or other analogous product is essential in the interest of the public health and that an emergency exists by reason of a shortage or threatened shortage of such product, the department may purchase, produce, take immediate possession from any source, and distribute such product under such conditions and restrictions as it may prescribe; and while such shortage exists, as determined by the commissioner, the commissioner may establish by written order or orders, rules and priorities for the distribution and use of any such product within the commonwealth. Whoever violates any provision of any such order shall be punished by a fine of not less than fifty dollars nor more than two hundred dollars or by imprisonment for not more than six months, or both."

So pretty much Massachusetts the state will decide who gets the serum. They can come into your house at anytime. They can take and destroy any of your possessions at anytime. And if you do not corporate you will get thrown in jail. All because of the flu. This is mind boggling!

I hate swine flu links

  • Cyclist hit when someone throws corpse from moving car. Daily Record
  • Israeli finds the name swine flu offensive. AP
  • Wait, only 7 people have died from swine flu. Syndey Morning Herald
  • Apparently all you need to thwart pirate attacks are deck chairs. Foxnews
  • This guy was nailed. Guardian
  • Family that should die from swine flu, but will die by horrible motorcycle crash instead. Daily Mail
  • When throwing a underage party, you should not accept facebook invites from the police. WOWT
  • Those sick people on the plane, do not have swine flu. They are just drunk and probably spend a weekend in Mexico. New Zealand Herald

My thoughts about swine flu

For the love of god, make it stop! I can't go anywhere, or turn on the TV without hearing about the stupid swine flu. Even my morning sunshine Robin Meade won't shut up about it.

This morning I saw people around town wearing face masks. Please make it stop. Its the fucking flu, not the fucking plague!

What makes this flu worse than other flu's? I don't know, is it because it is from Mexico? Are the symptoms worse than any other flu's? I have been trying to block everything about this thing out, but I can't. Instead of fighting it I decided to look up what the symptoms are.
  • fever
  • sore throat
  • diarrhea
  • vomiting
  • chills
  • cough
  • fatigue
So am I the only one missing something here? Has anyone ever been to Mexico? Go down to Mexico and party for a weekend, and you will have the same exact symptoms as the swine flu. Plus you might even have to throw in a STD test for shits and giggles. I have been down that scary Mexican I-want-to-die-I'm-never-drinking-tequila-again-road before, and its not fun. Give me the swine flu. At least I know that it will be over in a few days if drink some OJ.

Please swine flu, go away. Or at least go back to Mexico. Just like other flu's, the only people that are in danger are old farts and tots. Anyone with a healthy immune system should fight it off in a few days.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

So today...

Is my birthday. I actually sort of forgot was it until my dad called me to remind me. There will be no birthday rant like last year. For one, I am in a good mood today. There was not a dude sleeping in my room when I work up today, unlike yesterday. And its fucking 90 degrees today, which means chicks are finally shredding there winter clothes and getting their sexy on.

But the most important reason why I am not ranting on my birthday is because I do not want to feed the trolls again. Back in December I was at a bar. A bar I didn't even want to be at because I was so fucked up already I didn't even want to go out. But my friend talked me into it.

So at this bar there was a chick there that I "know". But I was so fucked up and the bar was so dark I didn't even realize she was there. I'm doing my thing, hanging out. As the night is winding down the bar is getting ready to close and they start turning on some lights. At that point I notice my lady friend, and she was crying. I guess she just got dumped and seeing me without me stepping up and saying hi was not the best thing for her. So I tried to be nice to her at the time, but she had a cunt friend with her.

Funny Pictures
This cunt friend was probably the drunkest person in the bar. At the time I saw my friend and her cunt friend. I was already engaged in a deep discussion with two hotties about Proust, Balzac, Kafka, and other great novelist. When all of a sudden the cunt friend tries to run a cock block.

Look I have been in many cock fights. Some I lose. But I have never had a chick try and cock block me before. So this was something new for me. The cunt cock blocking strategy was to attack my blog. I had no idea that cunt's even read theLucky, but more power to them. This cunt kept bringing up about what I wrote on my birthday last year. As if this was attempt to hurt my feelings. Look cunt, that shit happened over ten years ago, get some other dirt on me.

After realizing this attack was futile, and I was still talking to the two hotties. The cunt changed her strategy and went after the hotts, to inform them what a douchebag I am.

See awhile back in my blog I posted some quotes from crying girl. She was upset that I posted such sensitive material, so I deleted it. If you only read the first paragraph of what I wrote that day it looked like I was being a jerk and kicking a chick when she was down. And this was the angle the cunt was taking. But if anyone read the whole thing on what I wrote that day, I went into great detail on why I am, what I am today.

So the cunt tried telling my hotts that I will write about them in my blog. At this point I started getting mad. The bar was finally closing and it continued into the street. At some point I just turned and walked away.

But Fuck you cunt! You tried so hard to embarrass me that night, and you failed. My whole life is a embarrassment, so I got a chuckle out of you. And your futile attempts to cock block me failed too. I got the hot chick that I was talking to digits that night too. (with a little help) But you were right about one thing. I am a douche, because I never called her.

Now that I have that off my chest I am going to have a great fucking birthday!

EDIT NOTE: The picture at the top has nothing to do with my birthday, it just makes me laugh every time I see it.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Yankees are pathetic

The Yankees just got swept by the Sox's, and now the Sox have won something like their 83 straight game. The Yankees are a pathetic, almost as pathetic as this dudes haircut that I spotted when I was watching the Sox in Anaheim earlier in the year.

Most Yankees fans have the same come back when they are told they how pathetic their team is, and that is to mumble something like we won 26 world championships. Bla! Most of those were won before we even had 50 states. The New York Yankees are baseball version of the Oakland Raiders, but gayier.
I am a better GM than Brian Cashman. And I have never been a GM, yet. So lets recap.

Starting yesterday the Yanks quietly released pitcher Humberto Sanchez yesterday. Sanchez, you will remember, was supposed to be the "steal" of the Gary Sheffield deal. Brian Cashman, that brilliant judge of pitching talent (my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek on that one), dealt Sheff for three young arms-- Sanchez, Anthony Claggett and Kevin Whelan. Sanchez's "career" with the Yanks encompassed two games and two innings (allowing one earned run) in 2008. Claggett had a "spectacular" Major League debut in the Yanks' 22-4 debacle at the hands of the Cleveland Indians last week, allowing nine hits (including two home runs) and eight earned runs in 1.2 innings for a lifetime ERA of 43.20 before being sent right back down to the minor the next day in true Yankee fashion. Whelan, meanwhile, has yet to make his ML debut. So we've still got that to look forward to.

He "outfoxed" the Red Sox to land the notoriously gutless Jose Contreras in 2003.
In 2004, Curt Schilling told the D-backs that he would accept a trade to only one of two teams-- the Philadelphia Phillies or the New York Yankees. But while the Yanks played it cool, Theo Epstein wined and dined Schilling and his wife and sold him on coming to Boston. That was also the year the Yanks became so enamored with signing Gary Sheffield-- like they needed another bat in that line-up!-- that they offended Andy Pettite to the point that Andy took his talented left arm (and a pal named Clemens) to Houston, where the duo drove the Astros to their first ever World Series appearance a year later. Cashman's response to these developments? He brought in an over-the-hill Kevin Brown and assembled a pitching staff devoid of a single left-handed starter, playing perfectly into the hands of the Red Sox, who responded by winning their first World Series championship since 1918. A year later, the Yanks filled their need for a lefthander by bringing in the over-the-hill Randy Johnson. Then in 2007, instead of overbidding for Dice-K Matzusaka-- as they had for Contreras and any number of other lesser pitchers in the past (Jaret Wright, Carl Pavano, Steve Kasay, LaTroy Hawkins, Kyle Farnsworth, etc)-- they allowed the Red Sox to sign him. Then, in a classic knee-jerk reaction to compensate for losing the bidding war to the Sox, Cashman signed the pathetically mediocre Kei Igawa (2-4 and a symbolically appropriate 6.66 ERA in two seasons in pinstripes) rather than sign free agent Ted Lilly, who was dying to return to the Yanks.

Ah, but it gets better. In 2008, the Minnesota Twins were faced with the decision to deal ace lefty Johann Santana or lose him to free agency. The Yanks were interested, but not, according to Cashman, at the expense of the team's top two pitching prospects-- Philip Hughes and Ian Kennedy. So the Mets gladly stepped in and dealt for Santana, who proceeded to go 16-7 with a 2.53 ERA for the Mets, single-handedly keeping the Mets in the pennant race to the very last day of the season. And Hughes and Kennedy?? They combined to go 0-8 (they were both 0-4) with a putrid 7.45 ERA. They are both currently back in the minors and neither has received a call-up despite the fact that the team is carrying 13 pitchers and calling up the likes of Claggett and David Robertson in recent weeks.

In Tom Verducci's terrific book "The Yankee Years", he makes this observation on page 461:

"In the 13 drafts in between taking Andy Pettite in 1990 and Phil Hughes in 2004, the Yankees drafted 397 pitchers. Not one of them made a significant contribution to the Yankees' rotation. Not one. No sleeper pick came through. No top pick panned out. No middle-round pick developed that one pitch or made that key adjustment to be a good starting pitcher for the Yankees. The odds were staggering that the Yankees could not hit on somebody, even by dumb luck, but that's what happened. With more resources to plow into scouting and development than every other franchise, the Yankees went 0-for-397 over more than a decade of pitching bankruptcy."

And now it appears as though Cashman & Company have messed up the one truly great pitching prospect that they developed in nearly 20 years-- Joba Chamberlain-- by trying to turn him into a starter instead of letting him be baseball's best set-up man and their future closer. Imagine if the Red Sox had decided to go with their initial inclination to turn Papelbon into a starter instead of keeping him in the bullpen?

The New York press helped to run Joe Torre out of town, blaming him for the Yankees failures since 2001. But the real culprit still draws a paycheck from the Yanks: Cashman. How is it that he has escaped the "credit" that is due him for all of these bad decisions?

The only thing keeping the Yankees from being the worst team in baseball is money. They can afford to keep cutting bait. In the NFL teams can't do that because of the salary cap. So that is why the Raiders will continue to suck. Oh, and nice draft Raiders.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Picture of the day

Barbie needs to get her ass to a gym.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Kazakhstan to build UFO embassy

ScottNet---The Republic of Kazakhstan in Central Asia is in the process of building the world's first alien embassy according to some local media reports. If these reports are to be believed, the authorities have already allocated a large plot of land in the city of Almaty for this ambitious project. Facilities to be built within the complex will include a guesthouse, theatre and translation service. A purpose built UFO landing pad and checkpoint will be attached to the embassy.

Kazakhstan's government believes open contact with aliens is imminent and by being the first nation to specifically create such facilities they are convinced they will reap enormous financial and economic rewards. The Kazakhstan Government also see this as a chance to demonstrate their nations forward thinking policies.

Currently it is generally accepted that aliens are making use of an underwater UFO base in the Caspian Sea which Kazakhstan borders. Fuad Gasimov, the head of neighbouring Azerbaijan's national Aerospace Agency has confirmed this to be the case and has gone on record stating the old USSR constantly monitored alien spaceships regularly entering the water but kept this a military secret. Gasimov himself was involved in this secret monitoring of UFOs when a department heat at the USSR's science academy.

source in Kazakhstan
Well I wanted to write about how nice the weather is outside and that my goal was to get a tan this weekend. But this week I am knocking it out of the park on strange and usually stuff.

So instead of asking why a country is building a UFO embassy I am going to go have a beer.

Picture of the day: WTF

Mysterious figure ‘spotted’

Gulf Times---A mysterious figure resembling a human being was sighted on the Doha Corniche’s parking lot, according to a report published in a local Arabic daily.
The report is based on the statement of an Arab expatria
te lady who said she had seen the strange figure near the Oryx statue while walking in the area.
Quoting the woman, the daily said she took a picture of it in spite of being terribly frightened.
“She was very soon surrounded by a large number
of people who also attested to the fact of what she had seen . But it suddenly disappeared out of their sight when they tried to go near it,” the report added.

This picture is blowing up the internet. Personally I thin this is what Mini Me would look like if he died in a fire.

But its nothing more than an hoax. It reminds of the guy in Florida that makes the fake mermaids and crypto fish.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Picture of the day

Saying this women is horny would be a serious understatement.

The Web Bot project is over

Remember the Web Bot? Well if you don't know what it is, read about it here. I wrote about its predictions a couple times. Here is my first post that goes into what it predicted for 2008, and a little bit on how it works. Its not 100% accurate but a lot of the stuff did happen, when it said it was going to happen.

One thing that I thought the Web Bot said that I thought was wrong, was the predictions of earthquakes in the second week of December in 2008. But was the Web Bot really wrong about this? Or was the information misinterpreted wrong? A large quake will hit between Dec 10-12, that is what it said. To me this sounds like a earthquake. But I ain't R2D2, so I don't speak computer. But could it meant a economic earthquake? Because on Dec 11 2008 Bernie Madoff was arrested. And I don't have to get in to what he did.

So this brings me to the present. Apparently the guys that run the Web Bot are pulling the plug on the project, for now at least. The are asking people to stop sending them funds. The 2009 report is out, but they are not releasing what is on page 6 of the report. I guess it is just too scary, and that is the reason why they are pulling the plug. They would like things to work themselves out before they start running it again.

I can't post the report because its on a subscription service. Just google it and I'm sure you can find the whole thing. I've read it, and it writes like a Chinese puzzle. Just so you know what I mean here is half of what the first page looks like.
The Complete ALTA Report:

Terra - Boats (not) afloat, Mechanism Theory
The beginning of the [global coastal phenomena] is either
pending for about mid May, or started recently with the near-to
Tonga volcano sub seas eruption (and land building), or began
this week with the rupture of the ice bridge in Antarctica, or the
'freak' waves that struck around the planet over 2008, or some
other 'event' in the future, or not. While there is ample room for
debate on something as wide a forecast as a [global coastal phenomena], and a 5/five months wide 'initiation' period,
nonetheless, the separation of the Antarctica ice bridge is clearly
a very large HMMMMM! within the total context of a [global coastal phenomena]. The issue is that this 'ice bridge' needs to
really be considered in the context of a [cork], or [bouchon] as
we had forecast some number of years back. At the time the data
seemed to be suggesting that the [cork] was to be moved by
[underseas volcanoes] that would be causing [current shifts] that
in turn would [erode] the [cork's position]. Perhaps the shift of
the Antarctic 'ice bridge' is this cork being moved. The details
may not be knowable. Within a day of the shift or cracking of the
ice bridge, various sources within Antarctica report that the
governmental presence there started to crack down on all
outgoing information streams.

But here are the high lights summarized by my friend questioningall.

  • They said miles long trains will be carrying bodies of the U.S. the trains will go for as far as the eye can see. (FEMA trains? - dead or not?)
  • Everyone needs to have EVERYTHING they will need for the future by mid July - otherwise you will be out of luck. Anything needed that is shipped in from another country needs to be gotten NOW!
  • Whistleblowers will be coming out about NASA and other things.
  • PTB will be trying to stop information from getting out, but won't be able to.
  • PTB will have many blocks put in their way.
  • Coastal Event.
  • War - Israel will attack another country - BUT in the end, Israel will be decimated - our Military will be decimated - due to abuse of them by the PTB.
  • No more health care nor medicines by Winter.
  • A problem that causes huge amounts of death (pandemic by winter?) - I hear that is in the part 6 - that no one will publish right now.
  • No more stock markets - will cease in Winter
  • Food a big problem - come winter.
  • A woman with a scar will be part of the disclosure of the PTB information and whistleblowers.
Now I don't necessary believe all this, but the Web Bot does have a good track record. One thing that jumps off the page to me is the talk of "Whistleblowers will be coming out about NASA and other things" and "A woman with a scar will be part of the disclosure of the PTB information and whistleblowers. "

Which leads me to "Tina" from SETI, and this outstanding report.

All World Web---All News Web recently received a series of brief emails from some-one who claimed to have worked in the Pentagon within the DARPA agency on a project that involved collaborating closely with both NASA’s Ames Research Center and SETI. The person who has identified herself as ‘Tina’ has provided us with a number of scanned documents that back the veracity of her claims to some extent (these documents confirm a professional relationship to the Department of Defense, they do not relate to any information regarding the aliens).

The correspondent claims to have SAP clearance and has had some access to ‘Black Project’ information. She claims that a multitude of departments house small nucleuses of employees working on the same or related projects and information is very compartmentalised, provided on a 'need to know’ basis at her level of clearance.
‘Tina’ has a university degree in marketing and came to work on the project which she declines to name via an initial position in the Pentagon's public relations operations. Her position involved relaying and rewriting electronic messages for distribution to certain world organizations regarding imminent open contact with an alien race. We are unsure as to why she has contacted All News Web.
According to 'Tina' the last and only physical meeting between aliens and the Government and indeed the only actual official Government recorded UFO landing and alien visitation in the last century up until now occurred in the early 1950’s. This was a meeting between three alien explorers and President Truman. The meeting involved some form of limited telepathic communication and involved the Aliens expressing relief that WW2 had come to an end. The aliens promised to return one day. The Aliens were about three foot and of somewhat classic ‘Grey’ appearance. Photographs were taken and these, which have been seen by a handful of media figures (Stanley Kubrick, Steven Spielberg), have become a basis for the traditional image of ‘Grey’ aliens.
The Aliens are believed to come from a planet about thirty light years away and it is unknown if they possess faster than light transport. 'Tina' did not receive any information on Roswell or any reverse engineering projects involving ET technology. She does not discount other informal alien or UFO incidents.
The aliens seek to establish ties with Earthlings. They are able to monitor the goings on here remotely and it appears they are at least a thousand years ahead of humans technologically
According to 'Tina' SETI is receiving and concealing regular explicit signals (and has been doing so for at least seven years) from this race that state that they are returning to earth in around four years (2013) and have spacecraft essentially mid-journey. The extra-terrestrials will land openly and in a way that will conclusively prove their presence and are doing so unilaterally. They have given the US government until then to prepare humanity for this event.
'Tina' alleges that some powerful security figures would like to thwart this open contact but are powerless to do so. Many figures associated with NASA and even the Pentagon are positive about the event and a conspiracy to hide the truth form the world’s population is not unanimous.
What all parties agree on is that the best course of action is to leave any announcement of the event to the absolute latest possible time so as not to frighten people or harm the economy.
Major churches have been briefed on the matter and are being given time to shift their positions so as to accommodate this new reality. The US Govt has been ‘requested’ to mend and clean up rivalries and conflicts in preparation and this extra-ordinary event and this is the primary reason for Barack Obama’s peace gesture to Iran and indeed his very presidency. Barack Obama is in almost daily contact with SETI and is communicating with the aliens directly.
The aliens indirectly contributed to the development of internet search engines and they are in limited contact with Google through SETI. They are able to access the internet currently and their involvement in search engine research is for the purpose of allowing them to understand as much about earth as possible prior to their next arrival.

It is believed that search engine algorithms are somewhat based on the form of telepathic communication they use

This is pretty interesting. Specially when you combine it with what went down at the X-Conference on Monday. Skip to the 4:20 mark.

The key point in all of this is that the world is changing, be ready for it.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Worst product ever: Anti rape condom

RAPEXTM is a new product that was developed to empower women to defend themselves against rapists. RAPEXTM is a device used by women to prevent rape and to identify the rapist. The RAPEXTM prototype was launched on 31 August 2005, at Kleinmond, Cape Province, South Africa.

The RAPEXTM Team is in the process of compiling a tender document in order to source the most suitable investors/manufacturers/distributors globally. Interested parties can forward their contact details to the following address:

Market research results for the South African market will be shared with interested parties to enable them to assess their local market potential.

The RAPEXTM Team will communicate the progress in establishing a global distribution network through this website.

Ok, I am all for anti-rape devices. Which are called mace or pepper spray. This shit above is a mid evil torture device. Pretty much its a condom with barbs that stick into you when your penis goes into it. This isn't about stopping rape, its about revenge. Because only a doctor is going to get that thing off your dick.

The meanest thing a chick has ever done to me was told me that she was pregnant when she really wasn't. Seriously you do not play games like that. That is border line jumping off a bridge material. So to make a condom with barbs is quite possible the sickest thing anyone could possible give to a female.

What if you and your chick had a fight, and you thought it was over. But no, she is still holding a grudge and slides in one of those rapex condoms without telling you, your fucked. The only thing I could possible imagine that it could compare to, is fucking the Sarlacci pit from Return of the Jedi.
This shit is wrong and should be banned. Get a gun instead.

China discoveries another 1000 miles of The Great Wall

China finds another 1,000 miles of the Great Wall

Times Online---It is still not visible from space, but scientists have discovered that the Great Wall of China is about 1,000 miles longer than previously thought.

Most estimates have calculated that the barrier stretches for around 4,500 miles (7,300km) through the Chinese countryside, but modern mapping techniques have discovered that it is even greater.

Well congratulations China you stumped to the level of the Russians for losing a church, and local historians for losing a lighthouse. How do you miss calculate 1000 miles? Fuck I have GPS on my phone and that gets me places with in a few feet. And they can't even calculate a wall that has been there for thousands of years. Aren't the Chinese suppose to be good in math? Maybe there abacuses don't go up that high? Epic bad math.

Swamp gas that is underneath the ocean

So yesterday I was chilling out and decided to catch up on some TV shows that I have on my DVR that I haven't watched yet. My place smells like puke so this was my best option on trying to not think about the smell of barf. This is due to some random dude puking all over my place on Saturday night.

I found a episode of UFO Hunters that I haven't watched yet. It was a episode about USO and submerged alien bases. The first part of the show they believed that they was a submerge UFO bases on the tip of Cuba. They are close but they are wrong about Cuba, the base is in Puerto Rico.

Puerto Rico lies in one corner of the Bermuda Triangle. Famous for disappearing boats, planes, missing time, and flying saucers reports. It is also famous for USO, or unidentified submerged objects. A great deal of the strange activity around the island has centered on the 28,000 acres of mountainous rainforest known as El Yunque, on the north-eastern coast.

One thing that Puerto Rico also has is a lot of is the US military presence. Many military personal have seen strange things.
Jose Orlando Golis, who works for the Puerto Rican government, lives close to El Yunque. 'Many people have seen UFOs flying over the water close to the surface,' he told me. 'Once, at 1am, we saw one with many coloured lights flying next to the sea just over the surface.

'At first we thought it was a boat. It seemed to be dark underneath and had lights - mostly red and blue at another, upper level. Then it angled and moved upwards. It made a humming sound, and seemed to head in the direction of El Yunque.'

Felix Rivera is a diver with an underwater salvage company based near the American Naval Air Station which adjoins El Yunque, one of many U.S. bases on the island. He confirmed to me that UFOs and USOs have frequently been observed often by American military personnel.

'Navy Seals - America's elite special forces - have seen USOs here,' he revealed. 'Some have told me that these things will often come up close to boats, then shoot off. They move too fast underwater to be ours.
Not only has military personal witness UFOs and other strange incidents but they have also covered up and censored materials.

We were invited to participate as lecturer in the MUFON UFO Symposium held on the days 2, 3 and 4 of July of 1993, in Richmond, Virginia, USA In our lecture we informed on the UFO / alien situation in Puerto Rico, but we also lectured, on certain facts pertaining to the UFO situation in El Yunque, a series of encounters with alien beings and our suspicion, due to certain facts, of the possibility that the U.S. Government kept flying saucer type crafts there, we also expressed ourselves on the possibility of there being official U.S. / alien contact in a site close to the rain forest: Roosevelt Roads U.S. Naval Station.
Right after we sent our paper on all this to Mr. Walt Andrus, general director of MUFON, for it to be published in the Symposium's Proceedings Book ,a strange set of events started happening. Apparently, the content of the paper touched a sensitive nerve somewhere and "someone" seemed to be very alarmed by it.
Puerto Rico has its own Roswell as well, with reports of UFOs crashing in the mountain side.
In the night of February 19, 1984, a UFO allegedly crashed in a slope in one of the mountains of the National Caribbean Rain Forest, also known to our people as 'El Yunque' [after the name of the best known mountain there]. According to many sources we have interviewed on the issue, a flying saucer type craft DID CRASH there that night, and the whole situation was covered up by the U.S. Government. The craft and several alien corpses were allegedly taken to the U.S. by military personnel working out from Roosevelt Roads Naval Station, as well as intelligence / security personnel from several federal agencies in Puerto Rico.
There is something in that rainforest that we are not allowed to know about. There are incidents that have happened that the government will go into great lengths to hide the truth.
"At about 1:00 A.M." - he said -, "a group of the soldiers went down in a jeep to Palmer [a sector at the foothills of El Yunque, in 65th. Infantry road] to get some cigarettes and other things in a gas station, said the officer. When they arrived to ‘La Coca’ waterfall sector, down in road 191, the men heard some strange noises in the brush which sounded like heavy footsteps on the dry leaves and branches in the forest. They stopped their jeep, got off it and checked the area in order to see who was there. Remember, they were there in a secret mission and no one was supposed to know about our presence in the forest. When they stopped, the jeep went dead. The lights, the jeep’s engine, the radio communicator... everything went dead. Their watches wouldn’t work anymore, even quartz watches."

" about half an hour El Yunque was full with military personnel. They were everywhere, and the area was declared off limits and under U.S. military control. At about 2:00 to 3:00 A.M. a lot of people from Roosevelt Roads Naval Station arrived, and with them came an unknown group of men in U.S. Navy marked vehicles. They all were dressed up in white one piece anti-contamination suits with masks. Only their eyes could be seen, through crystal openings . The type of clothing you use to prevent radiation or bacterial contamination. This people with the suits entered the forest with what seemed to be detectors of some sort , doing a extensive search in the perimeter, that was extended to the slope that descends to the west from the antennas sector in the summit of El Yunque and towards El Verde. I heard these men had found a trail of a strange green luminescent liquid substance on the ground and leaves, following it to an undisclosed place, where they found something."

"Later on, the soldiers involved with the incident were ordered to board one of the trucks and go immediately to Roosevelt Roads Naval Station, in Ceiba.
Once there they all were submitted to psychological tests, a rigorous medical exam and an intense debriefing session about the incident in El Yunque. Their weapons, equipment and all their clothing were analyzed and then destroyed, burned. In the morning they received new orders and classified instructions and they all were told that from that moment on they were out of active duty and of any military service, that they should continue with their civilian lives as if nothing had ever happened and that they could not talk to anyone ever, under no circumstances, about what happened that night in the forest."

"I was informed on this due to my involvement with the work being done in the forest when this happened and because of my rank and security clearance", and added: " would be impossible at this moment to obtain any verification of this incident from the soldiers military records through the Freedom of Information Act because their records were placed under a high security classification and there’s no possible access to them. What’s more" - he said - "at this moment there’s no mention in their records of their ever having been involved with any special forces unit. Their records were altered so this wouldn’t show up either."

"Finally, and to my surprise, with a grim and worried look he said: "Look, I know you are going to ask me...and I’m telling you... Yes, there’s official contact between aliens and the U.S. government. in Puerto Rico. Everything is controlled to the highest level by a military and security elite group related to the CIA The U.S. Army, the Air Force, the Navy and several security and intelligence agencies are involved in this, specially elite corps from the CIA"
Newspaper report.
I could go on and on and talk about document cases of strange events that have occurred in and around Puerto Rico. Remember the first ever Chupacabra case was reported in Puerto Rico. And the description of the Chupcabra fits what people are seeing in the forest.
In 1974, in the wake of a dramatic UFO flap which included
cattle mutilations, strange creatures and Marian apparitions, an
hour-long documentary aired on Puerto Rican television
recounting highlights of the incredible events. One of the
documentary's segments involved the curious story of a a group
of young people who had found themselves besieged by thoroughly
bizarre creatures during a visit to the rainforest.

On the night of October 20 1973, nine campers--students led by
three adults--had gone to El Yunque hoping to "contact" UFOs and
their occupants. They made camp high up on a mountain trail,
preparing to spend a night that would turn out to be the longest
in their lives.

Mr. Heriberto Ramos, the group's official leader, stated that
at one point during their ascent along the trail, they met three
persons heading downward. There was nothing "alien" about the
trio aside from the fact that they all dressed exactly alike and
with similar features. One of the group members, who had stayed
behind, took a photo of both the other group members and the
three mysterious walkers, but only a patch of mist appeared on
the developed film where the trio stood.

At a given moment that night, thoroughly convinced that an
otherwise uneventful vigil lay ahead, the campers were
surrounded by five or six vaguely humanoid figures which darted
about the thick vegetation with claw-like hands and elongated
ears. Some of the "monsters" blocked the precipice-flanked
trail that constituted the only way down from the mountain and
back to the safety of their vehicles.

From a prudent distance, one of the creatures regarded Ramos
intently. Upon noticing this, the latter tried walking
cautiously toward the eldritch being, hoping to show that his
group's intentions were amicable. Ramos stood less than ten
feet away from the creature, and was able to describe it as
having a triangular head, and "extraordinary" eyes. Amazingly,
he managed to touch the strange being, which did not stir. Its
skin felt neither cold nor rubbery. Almost simultaneously, one
of the students lit a large, powerful flashlight in the direction
where the contact was taking place, flooding the area with light.

The clawed creature reacted by racing away from the scene,
literally tearing a path right through the dense vegetation,
which led to a 100 foot drop, giving the startled Ramos reason
to think he had frightened the being into jumping. To the man's
amazement, it reappeared instantly at the side of its fellows,
which were still blocking the downward path.

For endless hours until the sky began to lighten, the beseiged
campers were surrounded by the beings, who remained in constant
motion around them. Terror had led one of the students to bang
himself repeatedly on the head with a flashlight, hoping to
escape the situation by passing out. Seized by an inexplicable
urge, another camper expressed a desire to take a walk in the
woods. Fearing for his mental state, one of his companions
offered to walk with him. Before they'd taken more than a dozen
steps, they found what could only be described as a glimmering,
polychromatic "egg" lying on the ground. While entranced by the
curious flashing object, neither one felt brave enough to touch
it. Later that night, they would see it in the claws of one of
the nonhuman besiegers. Was it "bait" of some sort, its
pulsating colors designed to mesmerize prey?

At sunrise, the campers made a mad dash for the cars they'd left
parked at the bottom of the mountain. Not a trace of the alien
intruders remained aside from their footprints, which were much
larger than a human's and appeared to have been made by very
heavy creatures, in comparison to the smaller footprints left by
the humans. Their valor rekindled by the morning light, the
campers made plaster-of-paris casts of the prints and photographed
them. These materials were stolen by unknown parties months after
the incident, including valuable infrared prints.
As I mentioned above there are thousands of strange stories that surround the Island of Puerto Rico and the whole Caribbean in general. Stories that date back to when Columbus discovered the area. He reported seeing strange glowing orbs underneath his boat on the way to discovering the New World. Glowing orbs are a another common occurrence in the area. But probably my favorite story comes from a friend of mine who takes care of a elderly women. The women is in her 70's and is in rough shape. I can not reveal names because my friend is concerned about her welfare.

My friend and this women became became acquaintances through a program through the Catholic Church. This women is very religious. Which she should be because she use to be a nun. Not just any nun, but one that worked with Mother Teresa.

She quit the Catholic Church and began working with the military. She was able to gain high level clearance and have many photos of her with high ranking military leaders and Presidents. She was stationed on one of the military bases in Puerto Rico.

My friend got her to open up and tell her story, and this is some of what she had to say about what goes on there.
"I know people on the island that are married to them", she said. I of course was shocked and asked her what she meant. She said she meant just that. People walking around half-this and half-that "I don't get involved with it." I was surprised so I asked more. She said the Greys work with the US military on the island. That the inhabitants of the island have been seeing them for a long time. She said they're in the Jungles too. That most people would be walking through and turn and see them following or peeking from around trees. She said they are ugly to look at but they were friendly.

"Their job is to keep everything here running."
She also tells stories of driving late a night and being stopped by the greys and asked what she was doing on the road at that time. They were always friendly with her, but one thing that she did state was:
"I've seen things in the military that I wish I hadn't. I've prayed to the Virgin for amnesia because I don't want to remember. I don’t want to know these things about the world.”
There are many people out there like this women, people that know part of the truth. But are to terrified to speak about it. Not only for fear of their own safety, but because what they have to say is tough to believe.

Why Puerto Rico? Well I don't think anyone has that answer. But I do suspect that it has something to do with the Puerto Rico Trench. The Puerto Rico Trench lies directly off the coast and is the deepest part of the Atlantic Ocean. Where else to hide the greatest secret but in one of the deepest parts of the ocean.

props to Karl 12 and Lee Anoma

Friday, April 17, 2009

Picture of the day: breast pillows

Usually I use them as pillows.

Is it funny when your friend looks like a killer?

So the biggest news story around town is about this Craigslist killer. The guy that looks up prostitutes on craigslists and then tries to rob them. But he also killed one to, so there is a major man hunt for this guy.

The only known photos of this guy come from grainy security cameras, and the pictures show a resemblance to my friend. Killer below.

The thing is my friend is acting strange too. He had no response when I offered free Red Sox tickets to him. Who turns down tickets? Deep down I know its not him, because he is happily married, and the guy in the pictures looks to be 6ft tall or over. While my friend is only like 5'4" or 5'5". But he does have the same jacket. As seen in this undated photograph, on the left.

So personally I think its hilarious when someone looks like a killer. Especially when it is someone that I know.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Happy Teabagging Day!

They can't be serious.

Red Sox better win today links

  • Russian Ninja goes on killing spree because his wife has lice. RIA
  • Saving Private Giggles. ABC
  • 8 year old boy has permanent hangover. Telegraph
  • Woman gets $145 parking ticket for pulling over and giving CPR to her dying son. UPI
  • Massachusetts National Guard make less money fighting in Iraq than they would be at home sitting on there ass.
  • Snake bites man, man bites snake, epic battle occurs, snake captured, snake escapes, snake now seeks revenge. BBC
  • Snakes on a plane. WAToday
  • Giant ugly ass worm found in aquarium. Cryptomundo

ARRRR! Dolphins be blocking me Pirate Booty

Thousands of dolphins block Somali pirates

BEIJING, April 14 (Xinhuanet) -- Thousands of dolphins blocked the suspected Somali pirate ships when they were trying to attack Chinese merchant ships passing the Gulf of Aden, the China Radio International reported on Monday.

The Chinese merchant ships escorted by a China's fleet sailed on the Gulf of Aden when they met some suspected pirate ships. Thousands of dolphins suddenly leaped out of water between pirates and merchants when the pirate ships headed for the China's.

The suspected pirates ships stopped and then turned away. The pirates could only lament their littleness before the vast number of dolphins. The spectacular scene continued for a while.

God Dam! World governments can't stop pirates but a pod of dolphin can. The navy needs to hire more hire tech dolphins.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Why does God and MLB hate the Red Sox

Beckett suspended for 6 games by MLB pitcher Josh Beckett has been suspended for six games and fined by Major League Baseball, which determined he intentionally threw a pitch near the head of the Los Angeles Angels' Bobby Abreu last week.

Beckett also was cited for "aggressive actions" after the pitch that led to the benches clearing Sunday, according to Bob Watson, vice president for discipline in the commissioner's office.

If Beckett appeals, any penalties would be delayed until after a hearing.

Angels hitting coach Mickey Hatcher was suspended for one game and fined, and he was to serve the penalty Tuesday night. In addition, Watson fined Angels manager Mike Scioscia and players Torii Hunter and Justin Speier

The Sox are 2-5, and are playing as well as my college softball team that use to determine the batting order by the drunkest person. And then MLB suspense Josh Beckett for throwing over Bobby Abreu. If anyone should get suspended it should be the dumb ass umpire that called for time in the middle of a pitching wind up. Throwing a baseball is the most violent action one can preform on their body, and this douchebag umpire tried to injury Josh Beckett by making him stop in the middle of a delivery. Watch the video, he is in the middle of a pitch.

You can take any pitcher in baseball and in the middle of their windup start jumping and waving your hands from where the umpire was standing and I am sure the same thing will happen. If Josh Beckett wanted to hit Bobby Abredouche in the head, I'm sure he would knock his fucking eye out.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Plane trip

So I am hoping on a plane in a few hours to fly across the country. Luckily for me my Amazon delivery just arrived, and now I have something to read on the plane. Got two books, should help pass the time.

First one. This one is more work related. Amazon

Second one. I'm a big health nut. Amazon

This is the strangest thing you will read today.


So a guy pays his neighbor to knock up his wife, because he is sterile. The guy fails, but manages to sleep with a beauty pageant winner 72 times. Turns out he is sterile too. His wife now tells him that their two kids are not his.

Sounds like a Woody Allen movie, or maybe just Wooden Allen's life.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Sucks to be a pigeon

It must suck to be a pigeon. Everybody hates you, because you shit every where. Not only do people hate you but animals like turtles and pelicans want to eat you.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

When will the economy take the next nose dive

So I have been writing a lot about myself lately, and I think its time to give back to the people. So I decided to post the dates of the next time the US markets will take a sudden nose dive.

How do I know when this will happen? Because I am fucking smart, and your not. No, its actually quite simple, all you have to do is following the Legatus. Every time they gather, BOOM goes Wall Street!

The notion first came from Rienhardt. And by using this method it was easy to predict October market crash, and February's crash.

Who are the Legatus? Well they are all wealthy Catholic Business owners. Here is the membership criteria.

Executive Membership Criteria
Primary membership for the top ranking Catholic in a business

Financial Services

1) Title

Chairman, President, CEO, Owner, Managing Director, Managing Partner, Publisher

Same titles

2) Personnel

30 employees

10 employees and $1M annual payroll

10 employees

3) Volume/Value

$5 Million

$10M Net Value

$100 Million (assets)

Division Head Membership Criteria
The top ranking Catholic in a qualifying division or subsidiary


Financial Services

1) Title

Chairman, President, CEO, Owner, Managing Director, Managing Partner, Publisher, Executive Vice President

2) Personnel

30 employees

10 employees and $1M annual payroll

10 employees

3) Volume/Value

$5 Million

$10M Net Value

$100 Million (assets)

Intermediate Membership Criteria

Adjusted Criteria for Applicants under the age of 40
75% of full criteria. 15% prior 3-year growth. Must meet full criteria by 45th birthday.
Financial Services

1) Title

Chairman, President, CEO, Owner, Managing Director, Managing Partner, Publisher

Same titles

2) Personnel

22 employees

$750,000 annual payroll

8 employees

3) Volume/Value

$3.75 Million

$7.5M net value

$75 Million (assets)

The Legatus will meet for there Pro-Life Pilgrimage on May 6-8. So I am thinking that this will be mostly them just trying to gather up funds to spew their pro-life Nazi views. So I am not anticipating a major market drop. But there will be at least couple hundred drop in the dow on May 11 or12th.

The big meeting is schedule for October 10-19. This is taking place in Italy, or the Fucking Holy Land like they call it. They usually only meet for two days, so I can only imagine what they are up to during 9 days for this meeting. I would suspect to see a large market hit after the meeting, so anytime during the week of Oct 19.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Picture of the day: Human Care Bear

The chick is beaming!
via coasttocoastam

People from Maine Recycle snakes

The weirdest things (snake, anchor) turn up in recycling

Portland Herlad---It's nice that southern Mainers are getting into the spirit of recycling.

But you knew someone had gone too far when ecomaine, the Portland-based waste agency, issued these new recycling guidelines this week:

Newspapers – yes.

Glass bottles – yes.

Milk jugs – yes.

Snakes – no.

Someone, it seems, decided to recycle a 7-foot-long python. The snake, already dead, arrived at ecomaine's giant recycling center in Portland a couple of weeks ago, mixed in with tons of paper, glass and plastic. A couple of workers saw it on a conveyer belt just before the snake got fed into the giant sorting machine.

The workers are always on the lookout for items that don't belong, but at the time it wasn't immediately clear whether the animal was alive or dead, and snake handling isn't exactly in their job description.

"The first guy who saw it go by didn't want to grab it, so the second guy had to pull it out," said Recycling Manager John Morin.

Wait, you can't recycle snakes? There completely biodegradable. I can totally see a guy asking his wife if he could put the snake in the recyclable bin. In fact snakes in the recyclable bins in a great idea.

I think from now on I am putting live pythons in my recyclables. Why? For one, maybe a snake will swallow one of those mythical creatures that appears magically when I put out my trash. And a giant fucking snake will help stop people from stealing my recycle bin. That shit has been stolen three times in the past year. Which results in my stealing someone else's bin.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I hurt myself

So I completely fucked up my back a few days ago, and haven't been able to move much since. By the picture above its tough to tell if it is back pain or explosive farts. At least got out of the house today, which I really needed. If I was forced to watch another Seth Rogan comedy I was convinced I would be forced to grow a white mans afro.

So its Friday and I am not going out at all this weekend. I really can't. I'm scared shit less that if I do limp to a bar I will just hurt myself even more. I could totally see myself trying to dish out some high fives and re-injure myself. So I'm laying low.