Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I really have never looked at Venus pictures before that wasn't in a text book, so I am no expert. But these were taken by the Magellan spacecraft the other day. I have no idea what these straight lines are, but they are huge.
I actually no nothing about horse racing but I did find some great Kentucky Derby pictures. Apparently this looks like something that I should go to. There are pimps, past out drunk chicks, and animals. I require two out of three for a good time.
Really I have no idea. Years ago I was smart enough to continuously park my car in the same spot it where it kept getting stolen. Finally after the third theft I never got it back. Instead of buying a new one, I decided to take the cash and pay off my student loans. This decision saved me thousand of dollars in the long run.
What most Americans don't realize is that we really don't need oil at all. Its out of date, there are so many other options for fuel it is ridiculous. However, you will never hear about them because Big Oil controls the government, and the government controls the media.
The electric car is a great example of how politicians and Big Oil destroyed an alternative fuel source for cars. In the 90's GM came out with a line of strictly electric cars, no hybrids. Oil companies were afraid they would lose trillions of dollars if these cars hit the market. What happened? GM decided they would destroy every electric car that they made. Their claim was that there was no market for them. Even though there were 24 hour protest outside of where the electric cars were being stored. The protester were ready to buy every single car on the lot, but of course GM claims that there was no market.
Even today with gas over $100 a barrel, still no talk of the electric car. How come? Because oil companies own the rights to the designs.
But my wildcard in alternative fuel is Helium 3. Helium 3 acts like nuclear energy but it is not radioactive. Small amounts can power the United States for many years. Sounds good right, but where can you get some? The moon. The moon is covered in the stuff. With such a potential fuel source isn't it odd we haven't been to the moon in like 40 years? Or even send a rover there? I am almost positive that it is being mined up there, but I am not sure if it is by us. Someone or something has kept us off the moon for a long time, and I don't see us going back anytime soon. China has plans for 2017 to go to the moon, but I doubt they will make it.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I saw this in the Boston Herald today. Brilliant. There is nothing more that I like to do than look at hott chicks and rate them. I could be a professional. This site takes it to a new level. Rating chicks wearing Red Sox gear.
I totally think chicks wearing Red Sox shit is sexy. Specially those pink hats and the tiny Ellsbury shirts. All chicks going to the games have some sort of cute Red Sox outfit going on. That is why going to games is a total flirt fest.
However, I draw the line with chicks with Sox tattoos. I am not a fan of any chick with tats. Sometimes a beaut can pull it off. But 85% of chick tattoos are tramp stamps. Its like dudes with the tribal around their arms. There is just no need for pretty girls to ink up their bodies. As I always say about me getting a tat, why would I graffiti the shrine.
Orang-utans have confounded naturalists by learning to swim across rivers and to fish with sticks.Naturalists were shocked to see the apes swim across a river to gain access to some of their favourite fruits at a conservation refuge on Kaja island in Borneo. Orang-utans were previously thought to be non-swimmers. The wildlife experts were equally surprised to see an orang-utan pick up a tree branch and stun a fish before eating it. Other apes introduced to the island were seen trying to spear fish with sticks after watching fishermen using rods. The naturalists also noted that the apes quickly worked out that it was even easier to steal fish from unattended lines used by the humans on the island.
These things are pure geniuses. No doubt. 1000% smarter than dolphins. Its only a matter of time before these things are working in a sweat shop making my jeans.
Monday, April 28, 2008
ORLANDO - SeaWorld officials are still trying to determine the cause of a midair collision during a dolphin interaction Saturday that killed one of the animals.
I have been saying it for years. Dolphins really aren't that smart. I have swam with them before on vacations. I am convinced there are no smarted than a dog. I am sure they taste good too. They eat tuna, and tuna is delicious. So in theory dolphins should taste good.
So I was browsing this site which ranks the hottest 100 chicks in college. And to my surprise there are two Umass hotts on the list including #5 Mellie Zadeh. I also noticed that in this months Playboy Umass is represented there as well, as their coed of the month. Now when I was at Umass there was hot chicks, don't get me wrong. But in no way does it even come close to U. Florida or Arizona St. hottness. I am not sure what's going on at Amherst, they must be from out of state. Because hot chicks don't usually grow well up north.
Been following this story for a little while now. Defiantly something is fishy in Indiana. The number of UFO reports has distractedly shot up. Along with strange booms, and weird lights.
INDIANAPOLIS – Loud booms and strings of flare-like lights that brightened the sky two nights in a row over north-central Indiana may have been F-16 fighter jets on training missions, an Indiana Air National Guard official said Thursday.
Fighters jets are not allowed to go sub sonic over residential communities. Unless, of course they are chasing something.
From the first pic, it is the UFOs reported since March. Heavy increase in Indiana.
The last three I bogarted from WWKI Country radio station, that had them on their website. WWKI radio is located in the same town as where the sonic booms were heard. These are the same lights that were seen in Stephenville, Texas
Just shoot me. Please. I hate fucking birthdays. I really do. I wish I could rename them to deathdays, because in reality your just a year closer to death than birth.
I guess my hate towards birthdays goes back a while now. I really never had too many fun birthdays. As a kid, I never remembered having big birthday parties. When I hit 16 that was a important birthday, meant I was driving soon. 18 was cool too, actually could call myself an adult then.
I think my 20th birthday was by far my climax of hate towards the day. My girlfriend reenacted the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dome. The one where they are preforming the human sacrifice and rips out the guys heart in front of him, then shows it to him. All why chanting some mum boo jumbo shit. Well my girlfriend pretty much did this. She dumped my on my birthday and was sleeping with another dude later that day. Since then I have followed Short Round's advice from the movie, "Indy! Cover your heart! Cover your heart!"
When I was 21, that was a fucking shit show. It was a Tuesday night in college. My friends punished me. They were not really drinking, because it was Tuesday night, and they dragged my through hell. I guess at one stop I threw up in a empty pitcher then threw it. I ended up waking up in a lounge in only my boxers covered in birthday cake. I am glad I only have to go through that once.
25 was cool, I guess I could rent a car without paying higher fees. 30 wasn't bad either, had a nice dinner with my friends, then met up with more friends for some drinks.
Now its on to 31, figures its raining today.
Random birthday facts. Me, my grandfather and my uncle all have the same birthdays. I also share it with the late Saddam Hussein.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
2nd St. Louis- Chris Long: This guy will be a safe pick for the rams
3rd Falcons- Matt Ryan: I am not a fan, but they need a new face for the franchise.
4th Raiders- Darren McFadden: They can't resist troubled players
5th Chiefs- Glen Dorsey: They need a OL, but losing Allen makes Dorsey their choice.
6th Jets- Vernon Gholston: They pick him only because the Patriots would be interested in him
7th Pats- Leodis Mckelvin: They need a corner.
8th Ravens- Trade with the Saints: Saints pick Sedrick Ellis: They moved up two spots to get their guy.
9th Bengals- Keith Rivers: They need defense, he will start right away.
10th Saints- Ravens pick from trade: Ryan Clady: After missing out on Ryan they take a tackle.
Friday, April 25, 2008
I totally understand that people collect bottles that people through away, and return them so they can get the deposit. There is a lot of money to be made in peoples trash. However, the trash pickers in my neighborhood are creeping me out.
So this morning I bring out my recycling bin, like a responsible yuppie that I am. I place it on the curb, look around and there is not a signal person around. Go back inside and grab my work bag, and head out. Probably took me 20 seconds to grab my bag. When I come out, there are two Asian people already collecting my empty beer cans. I have no fucking idea where the hell they came from. Its like they appeared out of thin air. They seemed nice, but wasn't sure if they spoke English. They seemed very occupied by their score.
I am thinking I may be on to some cryptozoological break through here. They could be some sort of gnome creature from middle earth sent here to save the planet by recycling my beer cans. Or they could just be dirty people that have beer can radar.
A woman is accused of chasing her boyfriend with a knife after thinking he was an actor in a pornographic movie they were watching together.
The victim says it all started when he and his girlfriend were inside his southwest Albuquerque home watching a pornographic move at 10:30 Wednesday morning.
That’s when the victim called 911 saying his girlfriend, 20-year-old Amanda Montoya, had a knife.
“She almost shanked me and everything. She put the (expletive) knife right under my throat," the victim told a 911 operator.
The victim, wearing only a pair of shorts took off down Five Points, begging the 911 dispatcher for help.
He said Moya had already stabbed him in the face and bitten him on his chest.
This is why in 30% of porno movies you never see the guys face. Because if you are in a porno movie you show it to everybody. Its a fact. I had friends make sex tapes with their girlfriends, and days after filming there showing it off. Every sex tape of Paris Hilton has been released to the public. Its just a natural thing. I'm pretty sure if I had a sex tape I wouldn't show it to anyone. Strictly because I have seen the faces I make when I am playing sports, and there not pretty. I can only imagine how goofy my 'oooo' face is.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
MUMBAI, India—A laboratory technician who allegedly tried to make a quick buck by stealing samples from the Indian sperm bank where he worked has been arrested after a doctor tipped off police, authorities said Tuesday.
The employee allegedly stole the sperm from a sperm bank in the western city of Aurangabad, and tried to sell 101 vials of it to a doctor in Mumbai for about $625, Aurangabad police chief Krishna Lal Bishnoi said.
Who steals sperm? If there is a black market for the stuff I would love to know. I haven't had sex in what seems like eons, so I know I got plenty. I think I can sell my boys in vials called Lucky's Salty Syrup. I think it would be big in China, they seem to be into anything exotic or salty.
So last night I am watching a documentary on the use of Manchurian candidates by the CIA for assignations. As I watching this program doing laundry, the show mentions that when the use of a Manchurian candidate to kill Robert Kennedy is "one of the greatest conspiracy theories". Well I don't disagree too much about that, I sudden realize my great conspiracy. Where do my socks go when I wash them?
Every time I wash my socks I lose one, not both pairs of socks, just one. It is starting to be a epidemic. When I am done wearing my socks I throw them directly into my hamper. Unless I have been out, then they fall usually on my floor with the rest of my clothes.
Sometimes I will lose a sock, then in a few wash cycles it will return. Maybe they go on vacation. Or maybe there is some dimensional door in my dryer. Whatever happens to them its really starting to piss me off. I have a large bucket, of just single socks now. I keep hoping that I will find the matches to them, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
I wish I could be more like my roommate Craig. All he does with his socks is just match colors. So it could be two different lengths, patterns, fabric, as long as the color is the same he will wear them together. I just can't do that.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
Usually when someone touches my unit it doesn't shrink. However if some voodoo looking dude in a taxis wearing golden rings try to touch me, all bets are off. I think that would be the same effect as hopping in the ocean in the middle of January.
Cheers for the Congo government, because unnecessary shrinking is a serious crime.
Natalie Portman you are dating a douche. I never can understand why hot chicks are so attracted to douche bags. That is why my favorite web site in the the world is hotchickswithdouchebags.com.
But in the long run if you continuously date a douche your pets will turn on you. As visible in this picture. It is some sixth sense that they have. So go ahead Natalie enjoy your hot steamy relationship with a Muppet, and enjoy the added dry cleaning costs.
PHILADELPHIA -- Chelsea Clinton stopped traffic Friday night as she wandered the streets of Philadelphia on a gay bar crawl, winning rave reviews for both her politics and her appearance.
I must admit, I think Chelsea has been improving her looks since her first couple years in the white house. But going on gay bar crawls might make me think that she has some items in her closet.
I can't think of a worst place for me to be than on a gay bar crawl. I would easily have the worst shoes and hair on the crawl. But maybe I could get some fashion tips, and at least some free drinks.
There could be a more down-to-earth explanation behind the strange lights that appeared over Phoenix on Monday night, according to one Phoenix man.
Lino Mailo, 44, said he saw his neighbor launch several helium balloons with flares attached to them from the back porch of his north Phoenix home. Mailo said the balloons took off about 8 p.m., right before the mysterious lights were spotted.
“It's pretty tricky, because the higher the balloons get, the harder it is to tell what they are,”
Really Lino, the higher something goes in the air the harder it is to tell what the hell it is? Obviously Lino graduated from UMass with thinking like that. I guess balloons with flares attached to them could make sense. But seriously what the fuck makes someone attach flares to balloons. Is that what some thinks is fun? Sounds like disinformation.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
People are looking for an explanation for mysterious red lights that appeared in the north Phoenix sky Monday night, reminiscent of a similar event 11 years ago.
Its been 11 years? Time flies. Last time this happened the government said that the lights were military flares. Flares that stay motionless and fly in formation. At least they didn't say it was swamp gas.
Friday, April 18, 2008
-The NTSB Flight Path Animation approach path and altitude does not support official events.
-All Altitude data shows the aircraft at least 300 feet too high to have struck the light poles.
-The rate of descent data is in direct conflict with the aircraft being able to impact the light poles and be captured in the Dept of Defense "5 Frames" video of an object traveling nearly parallel with the Pentagon lawn.
-The record of data stops at least one second prior to official impact time.
-If data trends are continued, the aircraft altitude would have been at least 100 feet too high to have hit the Pentagon.
CROWN POINT | A load of human feces spilled on to Indiana 55 at Greenwood Avenue in Crown Point about 10:30 a.m. Thursday.
When I actually use to have a car and commuted to work, I thought sitting in sitting in traffic was the biggest waste of life. But it must have really stunk (literally), to be stuck in traffic because of a shit truck spill.
Daytona Beach Shores Police Officer Mike Schoenbrod says he was patrolling the
My buddy in college, Jorge, had a pet gator or caiman in his frat. One night after about 12 beers and a lot of 'mysteries punch', I thought it was a good idea to try and pick it up. Of course it bit me. From then on out I decided I would not try to handle anything with bigger teeth than me after I been drinking mysteries punch.
I also had an experience on a high school field trip when me and my buddies thought it was a good idea to drink a bottle of Robitussin DM, before we went to some zoo/museum. I ended up being wacked out, and hopped the fence of some animal enclosure, before my friends went in and got me. I don't think I have touched cough syrup since.
As you can see I understand what these kids were thinking. They were high on drugs and thought it would be cool to have a gator. Totally respectable in my book.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
There is nothing more in the world that I love reading about than a teacher student sex scandal. As long as the teacher is a female. I think my fascination behind this is mostly jealousy. My 6th grade teacher Ms. Monteforte was a total babe. And I wish she took advantage of me. Specially since I was a messed up kid back then and could have used something to take my mind off things.
Well Stephanie Ragusa here didn't only have sex with one student but two. Who are these lucky 14 and 15 year olds? And they should learn to keep a good thing to themselves.
The best thing about reading this article is that they have a photo list of female teachers who had sex with their students. I may have to create a top 10 list. Here is the list.
Here is a picture coming straight out of Scotland. Got to give Paradox2 props for the pic. As you can see there is a ghost in the picture. In my years studying the paranormal I have been able to break down human ghost into two categories, the pratical joker and the pervert.
This ghost falls into the practical joker type of ghosts. Like a guy with a mullet hopping in at the last minute of a couple of hotties picture. They are also the ones responsible for throwing shit around and stealing your stuff. It usually all fun and games, until they bogart your car keys.
The pervert ghosts are the ones that you see out of the corner of your eye, and only appear as dark shawdows. These suckers hide behind your shower curtains and appear in mirrors when you are trying to change. They are pretty much just perverts trying to catch a glimpse of what they didn't see when they were alive. When I die, I plan on being a pervert ghost.
Seriously, where do you find something like this? Did Xzbit come and pimp his ride out? Can something like this be rented out? Seems like a good ride for a day trip to maybe the beach.
And on a side note, the Pope is starting to look like the Emperor from Star Wars