Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Reason #1 why Africa is Fucked up

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

Usually when someone touches my unit it doesn't shrink. However if some voodoo looking dude in a taxis wearing golden rings try to touch me, all bets are off. I think that would be the same effect as hopping in the ocean in the middle of January.

Cheers for the Congo government, because unnecessary shrinking is a serious crime.

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