Monday, April 6, 2009

People from Maine Recycle snakes

The weirdest things (snake, anchor) turn up in recycling

Portland Herlad---It's nice that southern Mainers are getting into the spirit of recycling.

But you knew someone had gone too far when ecomaine, the Portland-based waste agency, issued these new recycling guidelines this week:

Newspapers – yes.

Glass bottles – yes.

Milk jugs – yes.

Snakes – no.

Someone, it seems, decided to recycle a 7-foot-long python. The snake, already dead, arrived at ecomaine's giant recycling center in Portland a couple of weeks ago, mixed in with tons of paper, glass and plastic. A couple of workers saw it on a conveyer belt just before the snake got fed into the giant sorting machine.

The workers are always on the lookout for items that don't belong, but at the time it wasn't immediately clear whether the animal was alive or dead, and snake handling isn't exactly in their job description.

"The first guy who saw it go by didn't want to grab it, so the second guy had to pull it out," said Recycling Manager John Morin.

Wait, you can't recycle snakes? There completely biodegradable. I can totally see a guy asking his wife if he could put the snake in the recyclable bin. In fact snakes in the recyclable bins in a great idea.

I think from now on I am putting live pythons in my recyclables. Why? For one, maybe a snake will swallow one of those mythical creatures that appears magically when I put out my trash. And a giant fucking snake will help stop people from stealing my recycle bin. That shit has been stolen three times in the past year. Which results in my stealing someone else's bin.

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