Friday, May 1, 2009

The age old question? Chelmsford or North Chelmsford

This morning Fox News 25 went "zip tripping" to Chelmsford. And brings up the topic that has been debated for decades, is Chelmsford better than North Chelmsford?

Geologically speaking they are the same town. North Chelmsford is classified as a village. A village that has its own fire station, police station, zip code, post office, and own local calling area.

Chelmsfordians are divided like the North and South during the Civil War. Either your on one side or your not. That was made obvious during Fox's zip trip this morning. When NoCho residents were asked the question if North Chelmsford should be its own town, they replied no. But they also responded that North Chelmsford is much better. When Chelmsford residences were asked the same question they replied yes, North Chelmsford should be its own town.

Why the difference? Well for one North Chelmsford is more industrial, more densely populated, and generally less affluent than the rest of Chelmsford. North Chelmsford is ruled by local politician Fat Bastard, AKA Jeff Stallard. Owner of the shitty gas station which is in there.
Fat Bastard and his disciples tend to be a lower form of life than the rest of Chelmsford. Its like comparing prokaryotes to eurkaryotes. There is higher violence in NoCho, higher drop out rate, higher teen pregnancy, and 7 drug dealers per square mile.

But Fat Bastard can not be blamed for all of this. Just looking at Chelmsford's history the phrase "wrong side of the tracks" originated in Chelmsford.

Historical Highlights

1653 Citizens from Woburn and Concord settle and found Chelmsford.

1655 - Chelmsford is incorporated, as are nearby Billerica and Groton.

1718 - The first one-room school house is built on the Forefathers Burying Ground.

1798 - The first post office in town opens.

1802 - The Chelmsford Glass Works is established.

1803 - The Middlesex Canal is completed connecting Chelmsford and Boston.

1835 - The first Lucifer matches to be produced in America are manufactured in South Chelmsford.

1879 - The Town Hall is built on North Road.

1893 - The Town votes to establish a Free Public Library.

1901 - The Chelmsford Ginger Ale Company is founded.

1907-Railroad is built that splits Chelmsford into two sections. North Chelmsford instantly becomes the slums, and the phrase wrong side of tracks is born.

1955 - The Drum Hill Rotary at Route is built.

1989 - The legislative body of the town is changed from an open town meeting to a representative one.

2005 - The town celebrates its 350th anniversary.

Don't get me wrong there are some very nice areas of NoCho. Such as Marty's Bait Shop, Crystal Lake, and the LeMaire estate. But even some of the nice areas are not safe from the North Chelmsford taint. As seen in this picture.

So in conclusion, North Chelmsford is a shit hole. And people from there should be looked down upon because they are a lower form of life.


Anonymous said...

Nice pic. As my brother in law would say, if Chelmsford was a restaurant, No Cho would be the smoking section.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, fuck eurkaryotes.

- Prokaryotes

Anonymous said...

the whole town is a shithole! And people there suck ass too! They should wipe that god for saken town off the map