Found this on CNN. Being a manager myself I deal with a lot of silly excuses on why people are late or just don't show up. I find this list to be quite humorous.
1. While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog.
2. Someone stole all my daffodils.
3. I had to go audition for American Idol.
4. My ex-husband stole my car so I couldn't drive to work.
5. My route to work was shut down by a Presidential motorcade.
6. I have transient amnesia and couldn't remember my job.
7. I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.
8. The line was too long at Starbucks.
9. I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
10. I didn't have money for gas because all of the pawn shops were closed.
Number 5 Presidential motorcade has actually happened to me. Didn't make me late for work, but I have been stuck because of them. Actually a few times, when John Kerry was running for President. He lives right down the road.
Number 1, getting lost in the fog. That should just be a reason to get a new job.
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