Iron Showdown

Two iron stories, can't decide which one I like better. The first scares the bejesus out of me. Because shit like this can happen to me at anytime.

NEW YORK (AP) -- A college student who branded a date's body with a scalding piece of metal as payback for never calling her after they had sex was sentenced to five years in prison Friday.

Kristina Caban, 23, had no comment as state Supreme Court Justice Michael Obus sentenced her for what he called a crime that was "not remotely justifiable."

Assistant District Attorney Nicole Blumberg told Obus that Caban was the "mastermind behind the plan" to sear the torso of Samir "Sammy" Sara, then 23, for having sex with her once in 2004 and never calling her again.

Caban enlisted new boyfriend Robert Testagrossa to help brand a four-inch-high "R" on Samir's abdomen in October 2006, the prosecutor said. She said Caban lured the former lover to a hotel room, where Testagrossa and another man grabbed him.

Blumberg said the men used a Taser to immobilize Sara in a room at the Chelsea Inn while Caban laughed at his distress and kicked him while he was down.

The branding "iron" was actually a length of metal wire fashioned into a "R" -- heated, and applied to Samir's torso, said Tracy Golden of the Manhattan district attorney's office. She said prosecutors did not know what the "R" stood for.

This crazy bitch! Not good crazy. This story is making me check my phone to make sure that I never got this chicks number. Ya, I know it sucks that you just got fucked and he won't call back, but they is no reason to brand the guy. This poor guy will have to explain to people for the rest of his life why there is a giant R on his chest. Maybe this guy will become a motivation speaker to young men and talk about the dangers of getting chicks digits and not calling.

VS

AN Italian man has been arrested for allegedly kidnapping his ex-girlfriend and forcing her to iron his clothes and wash his dishes.

The 43-year-old man allegedly dragged the woman out of a pub in the port city of Genoa, shoved her into a car and took her to his home where he made her iron and wash dishes after threatening her, police said.

Police were called by a friend of the woman who was with her at the pub.

The man, who was apparently furious at his ex-girlfriend for leaving him, was arrested on charges of kidnapping, police said.

I can completely relate. There is nothing worse than not having a chick to iron your clothes. I once almost had to kidnap a girl just to sew buttons back on my shirt. I instead just threw the shirt away.

There are just somethings in this world that I will never comprehend, and need females to do or explain it to me. Such as:

Sewing (I just throw clothes away when something falls off)

Rinse aid (still have no idea what or where to use this)

Fabric softner (so you throw paper in with your laundry? Just don't get it.)

Plants (I can't figure out how to keep them alive)