How did I hurt myself?

All week I have been walking around with a limp because I pulled my groin muscle somehow. How I did it, I have no idea. But I think I might have did it during a romp between the sheets. I was fine before I met that girl in the bar, then shortly after I am limping. But it could have also occurred when I made a mad dash to to escape that same girl early that morning.

I once dislocated my shoulder during sex. Well actually it occurred during foreplay. But after I popped it back in, I sucked it up and continued.

This has got me thinking about sex injuries. What are the most common and what are the worst.

Blue Balls: This is pretty common. Well at least for me. This can be quiet painful, but easy to resolve. Pain factor 6/10.

Fingernail marks: Scratches usually will heal in about a day or so. Making them one of the more acceptable sex injuries. One of the few types of sex injuries you wouldn't mind showing off. Pain factor 2/10

Leg cramps: Ya, this has happened to me. Twice. All of a sudden you start screaming in agonizing pain. The girl thinks she is doing something good, but when you are quickly on the floor trying to message it out she realizes something is not right. Pain factor 8/10

Suction Marks: AKA hickeys. These don't really hurt they are just embarrassing. Specially having them after high school. Pain factor 1/10.

Bite wounds: Mark of the kinky, as I like to call it. Can be very dangerous. Human mouths are filled with bacteria and lead to nasty infections. Always a tough one to explain to the doctor.
Pain factor 6/10.

Rug burn: Ouch! Who hasn't had these. If not treated properly can lead to scarring. More of a problem with women than for men. Pain factor 5/10.

Sore penis: This happens during most prolong sessions of intercourse. Somebody makes a wrong turn somewhere and your unit didn't want to go there. Usually leads to some soreness or bruising. Will heal in a day or two. Pain factor 6/10.

Injuries testicle: Sometimes your boys get twisted, and boy do you feel it. Extreme pain and nausea will usually follow. Will always require a time out period. Pain factor 9/10.

Penile fracture: Every man's worst nightmare. Not only for the pain that will occur but for the embarrassment factor of going to the ER and explaining what is injured to a nurse. I know, because I had a friend who accidental slammed his balls while shutting his dresser, and had to go to the ER for that. By far the worst sex injury 10/10