Friday, October 31, 2008


Well today is Halloween. I like Halloween. What's not to like about Halloween? There is candy, ghost stories, and chicks in Halloween costumes.

You can take the most innocent girl in the world, and for some reason on Halloween she has to dress like a slut. I love it. For the whole year she will never show any skin, and then BLAME! She is dressed like a naughy nurse. Like there is such a thing as a naughty nurse.

I am amazed at how far costumes have come. Now you can buy anything on the internet. If you want to be Burger King, you can be him, not a problem. When I was a kid we had to make our own costumes. Well our parents did. But that still not as creepy as costumes from way back. This picture is about as creepy as Halloween costumes get.But I don't celebrate Halloween anymore. Well I mean in the sense of celebrating, as in dressing up in a costume and going to a Halloween party. The last time I did dress up, I was left with a bad taste in my mouth about Halloween. Since that I am someone who is superstitious, I have yet to celebrate Halloween since then.

I had one of those moments in your life when you see something, something that is wrong and you don't know if you should intervene. Like if you see someone hitting their kid in public, a guy bitch slapping his girlfriend, or if someone pulls a hammer out of their bag on a subway and beats the hell out of a guy.

Unfortunately for me, I think my life has been damned. So I always try and do the right thing whenever I can. I like to think it puts my on the good side of karma.

So the last Halloween I went out I had two parties to go to, both at bars in downtown Boston. I dressed up as a Redneck, so pretty much I looked like a total idiot. Which is not to far from the norm. Anyways, the final party was in Fanuiel Hall and after the bar closed I decided to grab myself a sausage (street meat). I think the only time I ever eat street meat is when I am drunk. After going to two parties, and I think the first one started at 6PM, so I was pretty intoxicated by the time the bars closed.

As I am standing in a street meat line (maybe 6-7 deep) minding my own business. There was a group of guys at the beginning of the line, all of them were wearing striped shirts. This may seem normal, but this occurred on the last time Halloween fell on a Saturday night. All around that night everybody I saw was dressed up, except for these dudes in striped shirts.

I wasn't really paying much attention but these douchebags were making fun of the girl standing in front of me. (A girl who I did not know.) What did get my attention is that one of these guys spit a huge lugee in this girls face.

So at that moment I had a decision to make. Do I do nothing, and get my street meat and go home, or do I say something. So I said something. To what I said, I haven't got a fucking clue? I know I was wearing a ridiculous outfit and probably spouting my mouth off. It could have been something to the extent of "you guys are cool, why don't you spit in my face".

So after I said something to these guys and nothing happened I turned around to talk to my friend who joined me in line (she is a girl as well). Next thing I know I get suckered punch. I think I probably got punched and kicked when I fell too, but not to sure. I really don't think it was any great achievement, I had some many beers that a strong wind could have knocked me down.

But when I came to, I noticed that all of Fanueil Hall was in mayhem. There was just guys with costumes fighting guys without costumes. It felt like I was in the middle of the movie The Warriors.
Or at least something out of Marvel Comics.

So when I finally got to my feet most of the violence was over. Police regained control of the area. I had some blood coming out of my nose, but this was not the first attempt of someone trying to reshuffle my teeth. I was ready to shake it off. But Boston police thought I should take a ambulance ride to the hospital. At this point I really wanted to screw these guys over that suckered punch me. So I gave the police officer my information and my story and I hopped in the ambulance.

Once at the hospital there was really nothing wrong with, slight break at the tip of my nose. But my nose is like a mountain range, almost impossible to throw a punch and not hit the thing. So after I get discharged I went for early morning breakfest at the South Street diner. What I had no idea about till half way through my eggs is that I was still covered in blood, and had dried blood all over my face. I guess if you are open all night, like the South Street diner you see people covered in blood all the time.

So the next day I went to the police station to pick up my police report, and this thing read like a comedy sketch. Officer Dunkindonuts observed Scooby Doo punching a man in the face, while this occurred women dressed as prostitutes were screaming. Once I pulled the Incredible Hulk off the victim I detained the suspect. It just when on, and on like this. The women at the police station said they had a lot of fun with the report. So after I pick this up, they mentioned that I should be getting something in the mail about my court date. So I said fine.

Months passed and I never got anything. Until one day I get a call from my friend yelling at me, why weren't you in court today? I said what? Apparently I never received a notice about my court hearing. That is, until 2 days after the court date. The Boston Police fucked up so bad that I didn't receive my notice to appear in court for being a victim until 2 days after the court date. This adds to my list of my horrible Boston Police experiences. What really pisses me off, is that my friend who did go to court said that she saw the stripe shirt douchebags chuckling it up with the police officers. So me being a man of conspiracies believe that the cops and stripe shirt fags were somewhat in cahoots for making me miss my court date. The Boston Police force is one of the worst in the country.

So this is why I am not dressing up tonight. Well not really, I am sure if I had a good costume party with chicks wearing slutty outfits I would be all over it.

Oh and one last thing, by a friend of a friend's friend, I ran into the girl that got spit on in a bar a while back. She was very grateful for having me stick up for her. So unfortunately for me I will probably do the same thing over again.

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